Bachelor in Paradise (S:4 E:7): One Can’t Kiss & The Other Can’t Decide

Blake Not Whaboom’ing

Let’s review the “strong” couples. Derek and Taylor, Robby and Amanda, Adam and Raven, Dean & Kristina & D-Lo….ok, I’ll stop. Dean is the king of adolescent behavior of not being able to decide between two women. He walks over to Kristina nonchalant and still can’t grasp why Kristina is mad. He just wants “patience”, a.k.a mess around with D-Lo and get back to Kristina for seconds. He can’t seem to understand why he does what he does. Well damn, neither does anyone whose been watching him. Kristina gives him a peck kiss and leaves, hopefully for good, for her sake.

At this point in paradise, everyone just hangs out at the pool, because lets face it, there is nothing better to do. Jasmine is desperate for a guy, so naturally she just swims up to him to make out with him. A new arrival is here and it’s Blake, or the guy who feuded with “Whaboom.” Blake makes a request to speak to the guys from his season, for some friendly advice. Blake makes the rounds and gets nothing out of the women, meaning he doesn’t have any options. Kristina becomes the first option for Blake and she denies him. Just as Blake is searching for his final option, Fred arrives in paradise.

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ABC

Jack Can’t Kiss

Creepin’ Blake comes charging in, sweaty and all, for Christen. By default she agrees to go on a date with Blake. Meanwhile Dominique accepts a date with Fred, so it’s a double date. Jack Stone is becoming a workout guru while his women leave him to go on dates with other guys. At least the man is being productive doing something. Apparently the talk in paradise is that Jack Stone is a bad kisser which naturally prompts the women to unite on a mission to find out if Jack Stone can actually kiss. Unlucky Jack gets plenty lucky when he gets a pity make out session with a bunch of women.

The group date is a speedboat ride that would make most nauseous, especially if your name is Christen. While Fred and Dominique are having a blast zip lining, jumping on floats, Christen can’t get her contacts in and Blake is idly accompanying her.

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ABC

The bearer of all good Bachelor news, Chris Harrison, arrives with some intel. He announces no more arrivals, someone is getting a date card and the rose ceremony is tonight. Will it make it to air is a whole other story as we know.

Robby’s Carnival Failures

Robby ends up being the lucky recipient of the date card, so him and Amanda head to a Mexican carnival. Too bad Amanda’s kids are home again or else this would be an event for them to attend, but mommy’s fun comes first kiddos. Right off the bat, it’s evident Robby is no carnival pro. Even Amanda can make a shot in the basket, but ol’ Robby just can’t. The big reveal is that Robby is falling for her. We’ve seen that story before, but according to him this time it’s unlike ever before. Well kids, daddy Robby is coming home!

Before the rose ceremony gets started Ben Z. decides to leave and go home to his dog Zeus. Should have been done weeks ago. Diggy is stressing as Dominique is deciding between him and Fred, so he comes up with some silly game to get her back. It fails until she takes the reigns. On the other side of paradise big news emerges as Wells informs Christen of her scallop fingers story. The only person more confused than Christen is Blake, who also attempts to get himself in the drivers seat for a rose by getting her scallops. Tickle Monster steals her away from Blake and then Jack Stone steals her away from Monster. Who the hell thought there would be a love square revolving around Christen?

D-Lo attempts to put the pressure on Dean. He tells her that he will end his pursuit of Kristina. Dean is a man of his word, whatever it’s worth, so he tells Kristina that he wants to pursue D-Lo. Raven and Kristina have a chat where Raven starts defending D-Lo and that ends in a blowout.

Rose Ceremony

Could it be? Is it? A rose ceremony? Jack Stone doesn’t know what’s going on in Christen’s head. No worries Jack, neither does she. Chris Harrison comes out and announces that there are real chances of love that remain in paradise. Like who Chris? Sheesh.

Lacey is the first one to hand out a rose and Daniel gets it. Taylor gives her obvious rose to Derek. Amanda gives it to Robby. Raven to Adam. Dominique decides on Diggy. Jasmine’s rose goes to Tickle Monster. Christen’s decision is to stick it out with Jack Stone. Now two roses for one dude. Kristina goes up and gives a mini speech about wanting to be valued by a man in her next relationship and she decides to leave home. A sly smile goes over D-Lo’s face. Figures. The short stay in paradise for Blake and Fred comes to an end and so does this episode.

EPISODE RATING: 7/10

MY TAKE:

Anyone who comes to paradise this late in the game are just coming to make an appearance, because the chances of making something last for less than a week is slim to none. This time to hammer dropped on Fred and Blake.

FINALLY the love triangle between Dean, Kristina and D-Lo comes to an end. Poor Kristina couldn’t take the emotional neglect from Dean and her supposed close friends, namely Raven, who comes out of this episode looking bad. As I’ve been saying, Raven isn’t as fun and bubbly as she made herself seem to be. She really made a major jump to become the leader of paradise after being the forgotten one that wasn’t memorable on Nick’s season. Raven may be the least memorable runner-up in recent Bachelor history. As far as Kristina goes, good for her to finally stand up for herself and rid herself of the mess called Dean. She seems to be a quality woman who I’d gladly appreciate and will date one day!

A couple episodes remain. Little drama remaining.

 

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