Bachelor in Paradise (S:4 E:1): Too Many People With No Chemistry

Welcome To Paradise

Raven is the first one to make a grand entrance. Chris Harrison meets her at the entrance, he fills her head with thoughts of her having a Carly-Evan or Jade-Tanner thing. Dean is the next one to arrive. Raven gets a nice hug from Dean. She reveals that he’s her crush. Kristina arrives next and admits that Dean is dreamy. To make matters better, Danielle M. arrives. Dean is one lucky dude. The desire for more men brings forth Ben Z. Raven and Ben go chatting, most of the convo is centered on Zeus, his dog.

Iggy arrives screaming and running in to hug Dean. Looks like the first bromance is cemented. Jasmine arrives next. Jack Stone, the creeper, shows up. A shark/dolphin rolls up on shore, and Alexis is the name of it. DeMario is being talked about, so naturally he’s the next one to pop up. Harrison stops him and confronts him again about the girlfriend thing. Raven isn’t thrilled when DeMario interrupts the party. He even brings some dumb whistle, as if he’s some coach. Raven wants him to own his mistakes in order to gain respect. News flash to Raven, DeMario doesn’t care.

bachelor-in-paradise-season-4-premiere
ABC

Everyone is chatting under the tree umbrella, until Derek comes in. Dean finds little Alex in the bushes. Yay, what a pleasant surprise. Finally the villain everyone has been waiting for—Corinne. Harrison attempts to confirm with her that she’s single. Upon Corinne’s arrival, Iggy lies to himself by thinking he’s the life of the party. DeMario reveals that Corinne is the cream of some crop, even though she doesn’t know what a crop is, besides maybe a crop top.

Kristina and Dean

Dean is already putting in his claim on Kristina. He asks her about her family. I hope a mention of the wizard (his father) comes up. Camel girl Lacey (Nick’s season) arrives, yet no one remembers her. Vinny and Diggy follow suit. Penguin dressed, Matt is up next. No one remembers him from Rachel’s season, and no one remembers him now. Santa Clause Nick arrives next. He claims he’s here for Jasmine. They don’t wait long to make it official, making out from the start.

Corinne And DeMario Fiasco

Third time the charm for Amanda, or third time she’ leaves her kids home, depends on how you look at it. Why are Amanda’s kids home again? Corinne’s favorite nemesis Taylor is one to arrive next. Miniature Alex narrates the forthcoming Corinne and DeMario encounter. Alex provides a solid play-by-play of the encounter. At 4:30 p.m., the time they apparently are attached at the hip. Harrison makes a groundbreaking announcement. Jorge is leaving to pursue his dreams! Whatever they may be? No worries, there is a suitable replacement for him, the new bartender is Wells! Like he’s actually a bartender only.

bachelor-in-paradise (1)
ABC

So I figured out where Jorge is going to pursue his dreams— straight to Orange County to babysit Amanda’s kids. Problem solved. An announcement is made that the women are the one’s handing out roses first. Still trying to figure out why Derek is chatting up Taylor all the time? Danielle M. and Raven are having a slumber party talking about what a “babe” Dean is. Wells pretends that he actually has some advice to give.

This paradise is overloaded, please ship someone home, like on an actually little wooden boat. Iggy and Lacey are chatting and he nearly snaps her thin neck when he reaches in for a kiss. Surprise, surprise a mariachi band spoils Dean and Kristina’s date. Confetti flows as Dean kisses Kristina.

Santa Doesn’t Like Nick

Jasmine isn’t feeling it with Nick, so Matt scoops her up and goes to make out with her in the hot tub. Wells is having the time of his life making smoothies, while the couples are still not forming. Iggy’s bubble just burst as Lacey tells him that she’s leaving due to her grandfather’s death. Robby, is Lacey’s replacement. Harrison rewards Robby for having a horrible comb over by giving him a date card. Raven can’t even talk due to some bull in her throat. Robby wastes no time and he asks her out on a date. Raven and Robby go on a jet ski ride. Watch out girl. Update: Robby actually likes the bull in the throat voice of Raven.

DEREK PETH, CORINNE OLYMPIOS, ALEXIS WATERS, VINNY VENTIERA, ALEX WOYTKIW
(ABC/Paul Hebert) 

Just as Nick is about to chat up Jasmine, date card arrives, Matt is getting it and he’s asking out Jasmine. Santa isn’t being kind to Nick. He must have been a bad boy before paradise, at this point Nick would rather get coal for Christmas if it meant he gets to date Jasmine. Matt’s date is a trip to a drag bar. Not quite romantic, but could be interesting. Matt aka Virginia (the chosen drag name for him) is sent backstage to dress in drag an entertain the crowd. He earned a make out session afterwards for his efforts.

Rose Ceremony

Diggy and Iggy are hustling legitimately, for a rose. Meanwhile Derek and Taylor finally make out.  Robby is counting his eggs aka Raven, before any have hatched. Ben Z. is worried about being sent home so he presses the panic button and goes over to Raven where a quick chat leads to a make out session.

Finally everything gets interrupted. The moment we have been waiting for, the cameras are put down—literally. The show is shut down. Corrine and DeMario are getting called into the principals office.

EPISODE RATING: 6/10

My Take:

Well another season of paradise has arrived. To be fair, each of the previous ones have surpassed another, so if season 3 was the best does that mean season 4 will end up as the best one? I sure hope so. This cast is heavy on contestants from Nick and Rachel’s seasons. As expected they had to address the Corinne and DeMario situation, so they did, kinda. What I don’t like about what they did so far is that they are using the situation as a way of hyping the show.

I was surprised to see the lack of chemistry between the contestants. It appears that Dean is the chosen one of every woman. Him and Kristina might last. Right now the focus is putting this Corinne-DeMario thing behind, hopefully then the show will get moving.

You can follow me on Twitter @JimRko 

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