The Bachelorette (S:13 E: 4): Spelling Bad-ly

Kenny v Lee

Kenny and Lee are finally feuding. Kenny gets rowdy. When Rachel gets a whiff of all that she doesn’t know how to handle it. Rachel proceeds to break down and talks about how hard it is for her to be a black woman and the expectations to be in the position she’s placed in. Is she talking about her being the Bachelorette? This makes little sense. What about being a chick on TV that gets to pick among thirty guys makes it so difficult on her. Grow up.

Rose Ceremony

Remember those ceremonies where people are sent home that used to close out every episode? Well it’s back for this week and squeezed into the beginning of the show.

  • Dean
  • Will
  • Jonathan
  • Peter
  • Adam
  • Bryan
  • Matt
  • Josiah
  • Jack
  • Iggy
  • Kenny

It comes down to Lee, Diggy and Bryce. Now, who will production choose to keep around? Lee, of course. Villains gotta vill.

Southern Lovin

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina is the place everyone is headed to on their first trip. Date card immediately arrives. Dean is the man to get the solo date. Rachel has high expectations for Dean on this date, so they start out with some bubbly. A Goodyear blimp interrupts their date to pick them up. For a man that’s terrified of heights, this is a great ideal Rachel. She makes it better by telling sweaty Dean that it’s like riding on the bus, right, straight up. Is Rachel gonna pull a Nick Viall and bring the gum and mints to make out with Dean after he pukes? Apparently she does, cause they lock lips, but he holds down the lunch.

IMG_2933

Meanwhile at the house another card arrives for a group date.

  • Alex
  • Anthony
  • Peter
  • Bryan
  • Jonathan
  • Adam
  • Matt
  • Kenny
  • Lee
  • Iggy
  • Eric
  • Will
  • Josiah

That means today’s winner of a solo date is Jack Stone. Lee attempts to get into Stone’s head by brining up all the pressure associated with the solo date.

At the dinner date with Dean, they begin discussing Rachel’s upbringing and her parents. Dean describes growing up in a strict religious family. We find out Dean’s mother passed away with breast cancer. Very sad story. Relatable to me and many people out there dealing with cancer tragedies. This is a big moment for Dean opening up, so Rachel can’t help but to offer a date rose to him. Just as on every solo date, a live band shows up and they are playing for Rachel and her date.

Spelling Bees

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The group date consists of a boat party. Josiah attempts (badly) to prove he’s the ultimate alpha male by taking off his shirt and doing push-ups with Rachel sitting on him. Peter ruins the boat party when he starts to rap shamefully. That was all that it took to get the party boat to come to a stop. Onto the next activity—spelling bee. Adam is the first one to spell s-q-u-i-r-t. Alex gets p-a-s-s-i-o-n. Jonathan gets c-a-r-e-s-s. Anthony gets s-c-h-m-u-c-k. Kenny gets c-h-a-m-p-a-n-g-e, yup he’s never had CHAMPAGNE. Peter gets C-O-I-T-U-S, something he’s never gonna get with Rachel. Will and Josiah are the final two. Will can’t get p-h-y-s-i-o-l-o-g-i-c-a-l. Josiah wins with polyamorous. The best of the worst spellers is Josiah. For a win he gets a trophy cup and bragging rights over being the best speller, which is kinda like being the tallest midget.

Iggy Gossip

Rachel must be really smitten with Peter considering she’s willing to lie by telling him how she loved his freestyle rap on the boat. Said no women ever in history. Next up is Eric and kudos to him for admitting that he can’t mud wrestle or play ball. Finally some truth on this show. Iggy anoints himself as the protector of Rachel. He proceeds to give her the low-down on the guys in the house that he questions, Josiah. So Iggy returns to the group and confronts Josiah. Eric steps up and confronts Iggy on calling up people.

While the drama between Iggy and Josiah is going on, Lee takes the opportunity to sneak over by Rachel and chat her up. Rachel wants to hear the details of his feud with Kenny. Fuel on the fire. So Lee is throwing low blows at Kenny when he calls him a 225 pound ballerina. In comparison that would mean that Lee would be a 125 pound fairy. That’s my estimate, which is fairly good. Kenny does himself no favors by trying to recite his poem about Rachel. He clears the air with her about his involvement. Kenny is still startled, so he takes matters into his own hands and confronts Lee. Shit is about to get real. As usual, to be continued..

MY TAKE: 

Standard run of the mill kinda episode. The Kenny and Lee drama dominated in the start and the end, with a little bit of Iggy gossip sprinkled in. The dates were kinda lame. Spelling bee? Really? Another kid activity. Next week really ramps up the Kenny and Lee feud. Blood will be shed, by Kenny. This looks to dominate next week’s two-night special. A two-on-one date will pit Kenny against Lee, someone will be leaving soon.

For more on The Bachelorette, you can follow me on Twitter @jimrko and look for my Bachelor Universe podcast on all podcast mediums. 

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