Bimini Times

Nick is distraught after the fallout with all the dismissals HE made. The women are fearful for him. Why are they even concerned, not like he’s quitting. All it takes is a pep talk from Chris Harrison to get him back in the house. After the commercial Nick continues to throw himself a pity party. Out of nowhere the clouds disappear and Nick suddenly regains optimism and cancels a rose ceremony, they are headed to Bimini (wherever the heck that is?). Raven thinks it’s the most beautiful place, yet it looks like any suburb in Florida, I guess when you’re from Hoxie you think any place is paradise.

The date card arrives and Vanessa is going on a one-on-one. Corinne is frustrated and feels bloated. Go figure. Vanessa and Nick go on a boat ride where they talk about feelings. Ok, so she tells him she’s sticking around. Nick is elated and in celebration they jump in the water to go snorkeling.

Group date card arrives and Corinne, Kristina and Raven are going. Danielle M. and Rachel are going on solo dates. On their dinner date Vanessa tells Nick that the feelings she has for him are feelings that she hasn’t had in many years. Vanessa is talking but I’m not sure what she’s saying because I can’t get my eyes off her due to how sexy she looks. In the meantime Nick tells her that he’s holding out on telling a girl he loves her because he wants it to be special. Clearly Vanessa isn’t thrilled to hear that.

Shark Waters

The group date is a shark diving adventure. Kristina is freaking out, not sure why? I mean hasn’t she noticed the blond shark next to her all season long? Nick’s hair after coming out of the water looks like a fancy toupee. Corinne is fuming that she feels like she’s on Kristina’s date, anyone remember that Raven is part of this also?

After surviving the Corinne infested waters it was time for a dinner date. Nick starts crying when he’s talking to Kristina. She’s ready to bring him home, but fails to clarify if it’s Russia or Kentucky. Raven gets her her time with Nick and reveals that her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Sad. Corinne’s turn to have a chat with him, and it is filled with her complaining about not having a one-on-one with him. Nick explains it to her that this is the week that everyone gets nervous. He would know. Now onto the most important rose that guarantees a hometown, and it goes to Raven. Here we come Hoxie! Said no one in history, ever.

Say No To Germantown

Kristina and Corinne are bummed out while Danielle is heading on a date with Nick. They start out biking and then crash a kids basketball game. Once again, Nick proves to the world he can’t play sports. Danielle proposes they go to Germantown, WI, aka the words of death. Couldn’t even hide how turned off he looked. If you want to know how to lose a guy in 10 days then watch the movie, if you want to know how to lose one in 10 seconds, just invite him to Wisconsin with you. Danielle went with the latter. Their dinner conversation looks awfully silent and awkward, mainly due to Nick. The dagger drops immediately after that and he tells her he needs to let her go. Danielle is crushed, actually I’m feeling chills and sadness as I’m typing this, as if I want to rescue her! Such a sweet and beautiful lady. Or am I just annoyed that she was my winner pick and she’s going home?

Corinne is feeling the hometown date heat, so she decides to sex things up more by going to his room. Obviously he lets her in and she drags him straight to bed, but he turns down her advances. Ouch. Nick just ruined a national television hookup, thanks a lot. So instead of her taking the walk of shame, she takes a shameful walk back.

Blindsided Again

Rachel’s date is up next. Nick takes her to some cabana bar and they order beers. All the alcohol here is covered in a golden sleeve cover. Nick is terrified of the judge (her father), so she reassures him that she’s never brought a white guy over, but it is going to be okay. A very plain kinda date, almost too normal for this show, hence it was probably a good one.

A rose ceremony is on deck, which I can’t seem to believe since I’ve been conditioned by the show to expect them in the first 10 minutes of the episode. Nick and Chris Harrison talk about the impending ceremony, but he’d rather break the news to the girl in person instead of the ceremony. He heads to the beach house to tell Kristina that she isn’t the one. So he just sent home two of the prettiest and sweetest women that overcame a lot, yup, sounds like “the other guy” is back.

EPISODE RATING: 9.5/10

MY TAKE:

Next week the hometown dates are upon us, so they had to clear some space and wind it down to the final four. Not the four I expected. I was pretty surprised he sent Kristina and Danielle M. home. Both would be my final two picks if I was The Bachelor (I should be). They were great women, but not the most TV exciting kind, meaning they were actually legitimately great women. Vanessa showed up early and then wasn’t seen from the rest of the episode after her date with him. She was probably on her way home to prepare for his arrival. Rachel had a really normal kinda date, it was actually kinda refreshing just seeing them talk over a couple beers. I’m still aching for Danielle and Kristina. Maybe cause I’m in love with them? Probably that’s why.

In other news Nick cries a lot…again. Biggest news wasn’t even coming from the episode, it was that Rachel will be the next Bachelorette. That’s big. Surprise move by ABC. Why announce it this early? She’s still on the damn show! They just don’t care if people tune in or know that they will no matter what. Next week looks interesting to say the least. Nick seems to find his way to Antarctica, or something  close to it.

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