Jordan Fumbles With Parents

The final episode of JoJo’s season of The Bachelorette opens up Chris Harrison at the live studio taping, he introduces the episode and more importantly introduces Ben and Lauren who are in the audience along with the Bachelor in Paradise cast. Family counselor Harrison promises to solve the Rodgers brothers family dilemma. Onto the episode.

Thing pick up in Thailand, JoJo is torn between the guys–what’s new. JoJo’s family arrive in Thailand and she chats them up before Jordan’s arrival. He comes with flowers, introduces himself to the family. JoJo’s mom Soraya is impressed with how genuine he appears to be–funny. Attempting to lighten the mood Jordan introduces his family tradition of apparently being goofy and wearing silly hats? This can’t be a way Aaron Rodgers wants to be perceived as a tough NFL quarterback.

Mom gets a chit-chat with Jordan. She brings up some perception that she has of Jordan getting a lot of attention from females, and how insecure about men JoJo is. He stumbles when the mom asks him to promise her that he won’t break JoJo’s heart. JoJo has a brief follow-up chat with mom, in which mom declares, “I love Jordan, who doesn’t like Jordan?” Well that’s easy to answer, look no further than his brother. JoJo’s dad puts Jordan at further unease. Jordan regrets that he didn’t ask her father for her hand in marriage.

Robby Playing Favorites

Oh look mom, it’s Robby. Yup, he’s arrived in a little red car wagon. He sure has a knack on arriving in style. Mom is impressed with his gentleman demeanor. He sure has that effect. Robby tries bragging about telling JoJo he loved her on a cliff, which produces a deadpan stoic reaction from pappa JoJo. Her brothers approve Robby. Bet Jordan didn’t get that endorsement. Mom on the other hand has a concern. Trust issue is a topic again. Robby claims that he’s 100% ready to commit to her (JoJo, not mom) for life. Being the suck-up he is, Robby invites the mom to the room for his conversation with the dad. He asks the parents for JoJo’s hand in marriage. Blessing was given.

JoJo starts gushing about Robby after she sees her dad crying after talking to him. The family has a discussion, and the plan seems to be pitch the hell out of Robby to JoJo. The family agrees that Robby is marriage material. So the family slips a little nugget of info that Robby asked the parents permission to marry her. JoJo immediately asks them if Jordan did the same, they skirt around the issue, but JoJo is freaking out. JoJo is fighting for Jordan. She erupts in tears.

Frontrunning Robby

Final dates with the guys before she decides. Robby is up first. They find an empty beach, I’m loosing focus as JoJo unveils her bikini. They swim and kiss underwater. Robby talks about some nonsense about overcooking meatloaf. She can’t possibly pick him if he serenades her with meatloaf. You’re cooked bro. At dinner, Robby keeps talking about him proposing. He won’t stop. He has a gift for her–pictures. One of the photos is him coming out of the limo. Another of them on the cliff. How are these gifts?!

Backtracking Out Of Her Heart

Her final date is with Jordan and his fabulous hair. They go on a boat ride and JoJo can’t get over the fact that he didn’t ask for her hand in marriage. A kayak ride into the cave can mean only one thing–JoJo in a bikini. JoJo asks him about talking to her dad, he starts stuttering and mumbling. He owns up to hesitating to ask her father about proposing to her. Jordan finds himself in a major pile of mud. Only way out is to confuse the hell out of her, which he does. JoJo is scared and filled with doubts. During the evening visit with Jordan she continues the questioning of why he didn’t ask for her hand in marriage. “You never know until you know” is what Jordan is going with. Even Jordan might not talk his way out of this mess. Jordan says he’s full of regret for not asking.

Ringing It

The morning starts out with Robby in the shower. Just what I wanted to see…NOT! Neil Lane arrives. Will he bring the moment of clarity that he brought to Ben. Jordan is getting ready for the big day by putting on some colorful socks. He follows that up with a phone call to JoJo’s parents. Someone is sweating it. Forget about 2 minute warning, this is a two second warning. He gets the phone blessing. Jordan manages to write a not for her telling her he got the approval.

The Jordan and Neil encounter was quite the sight, as Neil shakes the hell out of Jordan and pulls him forward with a vicious handshake. This Neil Lane isn’t playing around ladies and gentlemen. How could he call out football plays when he’s demonstrating he can’t even pick out a ring. Jordan gets prepped up and even gets the lint off his suit.

Now Robby writes a letter. What the hell is going on with all these letters. So first Robby is showering and now he’s finally getting dressed, and we need to see this, why? Upon reading the letters, JoJo is getting a panic attack.

Final Rose

Back to Chris Harrison after the commercial. He introduces the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders in the audience. Who isn’t there? Doesn’t seem like many fans with all the Bachelor alums forced into the audience. The final decision is coming up. JoJo walks down the beach walkway, she looks AH-MA-ZING! Robby arrives first. This is usually a bad sign. Robby doesn’t like the idea of JoJo being hurt at rose ceremonies and having to tell the other guy he isn’t the one. Well Robby, you’re about to be that guy. Robby starts giving his speech and JoJo looks stoic. It’s coming. She breaks up his speech. She tells Robby how badly she wanted it to be him, but it’s not. Robby grabs his head as if he was struck by a baseball or something. He gone.

So there was one left. JoJo goes from crying over Robby to immediately shaking it off as she mentions Jordan. Jordan begins to give his speech, there is a different look on here face this time around. Baby Jordan gets down on one knee and pops the question. She says yes, her hand is shaking. This is it. Jordan’s biggest victory of his life. The closest to a Super Bowl feeling that he will ever get. That’s all she wrote. JoJo picks Baby Rodgers as her man. Worst kept secret. It was in the cards from the start.

AFTER THE FINAL ROSE

Chris Harrison does a show preview, introduces the Bachelor people in the audience, and brings out Robby ASAP. Robby comes out in a all gray suit and with overly pearly whites. Fakes or super whitening solution? He immediately begins to talk about the shock and disappointment, and how he was “blindsided”. This is officially the favorite word of this season. Why is everyone always getting blindsided on this show? Harrison asks him if he’s still in love with JoJo. He answers by saying that he respects her and walks around answering the question–typical Robby way.

JoJo Meet Robby

JoJo comes out to face Robby. He wants answers. She sort of backtracks as she says that she loves the man he is, etc…Tells him how she wanted to give him closure. He wants to know why one love was stronger than his. She tells him that her heart was always with Jordan, confirming the obvious. It wasn’t the love she wanted for the rest of her life. Damn are Robby’s teeth impressive. She tells her she’s happy, Robby takes the high road and tells her that he’s happy for her. As they go to commercial a shot of Jordan fixing his hair in the green room. So planted.

After the break, she elaborates on how difficult it was to tell Robby that he wasn’t the one and how she didn’t want to hurt him. This is starting to repeat a lot. Harrison asks JoJo who should be the next Bachelor. She mentions Chase and Luke, then surprisingly (NOT) Chad gets up and to volunteer and nominates himself as The Bachelor. Geez. Some people applaud. They are overly pushing Chad. So forced. JoJo blames the media and tabloids about the difficulty of her relationship with Jordan and how they are trying to separate them. Gotta blame someone.

Jordan and JoJo Reunited

Jordan comes out, hair still on point. Jordan credits their ability to be real with each other for them maintaining their relationship. JoJo says that its been difficult getting through the bumps. Harrison brings up the tabloid covers and asks them about the tabloid rumors. They admit to not knowing how to get through the accusations. Jordan brings up the fact that there isn’t a “playbook” to deal with that. How ironic, considering he must have learned the playbook really well by sitting on those NFL sidelines for a few years. Harrison shamelessly promotes their People Magazine cover story. Jordan announces they have a house in Dallas ready for them to move into. Uh-Oh, someone is getting some Fletcher support. The move is immediate. Jordan throws around a tentative wedding for next year.

Future Plans

Finally Harrison addresses the Rodger brother controversy. Jordan gives a political answer and walks around it again. Refusing to address the Aaron situation. JoJo still hasn’t met him. She never will. Harrison proposes a wedding at Cowboys Stadium with BBQ, selling the place out. Might be a decent idea, considering the Cowboys aren’t selling out a thing this season. They are both excited to be normal and be seen together. Harrison is sure that people’s perception will change of them and how evident it is that they are happy. Harrison throws it to Ben and Lauren. Ben congratulates them. Ben talks about getting criticism and navigating through it. Ben calls out some 15-year-old in Idaho about calling them out on Twitter. Stop pointing fingers at teenagers, Ben.

After the commercial Harrison drops a bombshell engagement gift to Jordan and JoJo, courtesy of the Bachelor family. What is the gift? A trip to that remote resort they had gone to in Pennsylvania. Update: The show budget is back to being at an all-time low. Harrison shows the highlights of the news season of Bachelor in Paradise. Jordan and JoJo shamelessly make out and the show is over.

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