The Bachelorette: Bloody Football Exhibition And Chadzilla On The Prowl

Baby Rodgers keeps impressing JoJo Credit: ABC
Baby Rodgers keeps impressing JoJo
Credit: ABC

Bloody Pool Party

Part 2 of Week 3 continues after Chad gets his stern warning suggestion from Chris Harrison to clear the air with the guys. Chad comes back to the house and little scrappy Evan goes after him demanding an apology and a new shirt. Chad bargains with himself and offers Evan $20. Take it Evan. It’s either that or your head ripped-off. Wells attempts to be the DJ voice of reason and explain to Chad that everyone is uncomfortable around him.

JoJo arrives for her pool party. Finally get to see her in a bikini. Took them a while. The party comes to a quick stop when Even (who else) comes out of the pool bleeding from his nose. Chad was NOT involved. The sight of Chad makes Evan bleed. Chad is one step closer to becoming a supernatural force. Meanwhile, JoJo and Baby Rodgers are making out behind the house. Now that’s getting it done. JoJo tells him how she gets nervous around him. Ease up JoJo, it’s not AARON, it’s Jordan Rodgers.

Back to the pool party, everyone is having fun. JoJo is impressed how even Chad is behaving. When she says that, they go to a shot of Chad eating in the pool. Derek throws more dirt on Chad’s grave and tells JoJo about the negative energy Chad brings, and the need for a security guard. A furious Chadzila confronts Derek. Awkward encounter, but Derek manages to stand his ground.

Chadzilla explosion  Credit: ABC
Chadzilla explosion
Credit: ABC

Early rose ceremony. Twenty-five minutes into the show we have a rose ceremony elimination. Weird time placement. Grant. Derek. Jordan. Luke. Robby. Wells. James. Vinny. Daniel. Alex. Final rose remains, so does Chad. Chadzilla gets the rose. Christian, Ali, and Nick go home. JoJo announces they are leaving LA.

Hello Pennsylvania

“It feels so good to be in Pennsylvania” JoJo said no person, ever. She’s ready to leave all the drama behind, yet you brought Chadzilla with you? Yeah, not happening. Apparently they are staying in some secluded forest resort. Vinny comes out to announce that Luke is going on a one-on-one date. There is a group of cute dogs pulling some sled on wheels that’s carrying Luke and JoJo. They should have Luke pulling that sled, not the dogs. Luke is chopping (attempting to) some wood. A hot tub in the middle of the forest. Now that’s more like it. Had this been Ben, we would have witnessed like ten hut tub dates by now. So lumberjack Luke warmed up the tub too hot with all that wood he chopped up–what a man. Luke tells her how the best part of the date is that it reminds him of the ranch he grew up on, JoJo can’t seem to believe that he’s a guy who grew up on the ranch based on his looks. Does she have blinders on or something? How isn’t this obvious. Upon further notice, Luke has a really old and wrinkly face. She just called him a beautiful GQ model. Ok, so this girl is definitely drinking the same Kool-aid that Chadzilla is. Not living in reality.

Date card arrives. Derek, James T., Chase, unfunny Daniel, Wells, Vinny, James, Evan, Grant, Jordan, Robby. Alex and Chad are going on a two-on-one date. Someone is going home. JoJo is at dinner with Luke. She wants to know why he has such relaxed confidence. Or maybe he’s just boring. He tells her that he was a platoon leader. Luke tells her that he’s an emotional person. Really? He gets a rose for all that. JoJo has another surprise. She takes Luke to a…concert. Dan + Shay concert. That gets it done. So they are dancing on stage and kissing, with a bunch of people surrounding them.

Football Growing Pains With The Pittsburgh Steelers

The group date is a trip to Heinz field to be coached up by the Pittsburgh Steelers players. Vinny is in shock that his idol and someone he “grew up” watching, Ben Roethlisberger is waiting for them on the field. How damn old Vinny that he grew up watching a guy in his early 30’s? Someone card Vinny, this guy might be a tween. JoJo just adds to it by saying that not everyday to her guys get to hang out with football legends. Did you hear that Jordan “Baby” Rodgers? You get to hang out with REAL football players. What a damn diss to Baby Rodgers, she doesn’t even acknowledge him as any sort of football player. Best part comes when JoJo needs to explain to “Big Ben” who is the brother of the famous Rodgers. She points out the guy in the black with the nice hair. Yup, that’s who he is. Ouch..again. Not only don’t actual NFL players acknowledge that he’s played in the league, they can’t even separate him from James Taylor or Vinny.

Football drills landed James T. with blood gushing down his face. Evan feels dangerous, but it’s going to be dangerous for him to get on the field. Baby Rodgers is the quarterback for both teams. “Dropping dimes” is what he claims to be doing, more like flopping dimes. Evan is bleeding from his nose again. This nose bleed is becoming an Evan epidemic. Blue team wins, or the team with all the bleeding dudes. During the extra time with JoJo for winning the game, Robby doesn’t waste time as he lifts her on a pool table and starts going at it with her. Baby Rodgers steps up, by telling her that he could fall in love with her. That was enough of a clincher for him to get a rose.

James Taylor looks like he's a bloody Frankenstein Credit: ABC
James Taylor looks like he’s a bloody Frankenstein
Credit: ABC

Threesome In The Woods

Back on the couch there is a game of step-up. Chad wants to go outside with every guy. Challenges issues left and right–nothing happens. After the break, Chad performs his greatest monologue. Calls out Baby Rodgers and threatens to stalk him and find him by coming to his home after the show airs. There is it. Chad will be lurking in the bushes in no time. A great awkward silence ensues following that confrontation. The helicopter comes to pick up Chad and Alex. Yup, definitely someone will be stranded somewhere obsolete. Hiking with JoJo is the date. Perfect place to drop Chad at. Someone will be missing at the end. A Chad observation–why does this fool talk without moving his mouth, like the lips only seem to vibrate and sounds come out of him. Definitely not a from this world.

Alex gets the first shot at staying, his play is to tell JoJo about all the bad things Chad does, including the threat to Baby Rodgers. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Needless to say, this his doesn’t make JoJo happy. Soon as JoJo gets a hold of Chad, she ends up confronting him about what Alex told her. This amazing bewildered look on Chad’s face says it all. This man is the best and worst actor in reality television. Period. JoJo is startled by his lack of response, so she starts crying. Chad returns to find a downtrodden Alex, he lays down, sips some drink (while laying down) and tells Alex he’s disappointed in him. See what you did Alex? You disappointed Chad, way to go. Chad, being the consummate guy he is offers Alex some milk. What a guy.

Chadzilla's final act Credit: ABC
Chadzilla’s final act
Credit: ABC

JoJo returns and uncomfortably sits between them. She point blank asks Chad if he’s ever confronted someone. She picks up the rose and lectures Chad and offers the rose to Alex. Chadzilla thinks he’s been pranked. Some masked man arrives to pick up the Chad’s luggage, the guys rejoice and pop champagne. This is a bigger celebration than if Baby Rodgers had won the Super Bowl.

Chad is strolling through the pitch black woods. This is a better promo than any horror movie had produced in years. Chad isn’t gone though. He comes back to the house and appears in the window..I called it (so I said bushes, but same thing). TO BE CONTINUED….Damn good cliffhanger. Chad will never disappear! We will find out in TWO weeks. Thanks a lot NBA Finals. Chad is a lot more compelling than the Cleveland Cavaliers.

For more Bachelorette news follow me on Twitter @JimRko

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